Something Missing...

Let me set the scene for you...

INT. ELEVATOR - MORNING

O’NEILL stumbles her way into the empty elevator in a pre-caffeinated daze. She chugs her iced coffee silently praying for it to do the trick.

The elevator door starts to close and—

THE FUNK (O.S.)

Wait!!!

A hand juts in between the door.

Enter THE FUNK. A twig like waif in over-priced designer clothes, greasy hair, and an odor that says “I have yet to discover the wonders of deodorant and soap”. She’s Milan and Skid row all rolled into one.

O’Neill catches a strong whiff and her eyes instantly pop open. If she wasn’t awake before, she is now.

THE FUNK
Hey! I thought it was you. The sound of your ice coffee should totally be your calling card.

INNER O’NEILL
Speaking of calling cards…

O’NEILL
Morning.

THE FUNK
You won't believe the morning I’ve had. My alarm didn’t go off. Like not at all. Nothing. I seriously got ready in like ten minutes. Ten minutes! I’m lucky my clothes match.

INNER O’NEILL
Yes, because matching your Gucci with your Prada is way more important than say something like… showering?

O’Neill flashes a polite, “please don’t make me have a real conversation this early in the morning” smile and chugs her coffee a little bit faster. Her eyes aimlessly wander down towards The Funk’s tank top and—

INNER O’NEILL
Holy bustin’ bazookas, Batman! She’s free boobing it!

O’Neill instantly pulls her eyes away, trying desperately to stare at anything else.

THE FUNK
I’ve been late like four times in the last two month. But one of those times was so not my fault. The stupid security guard was giving me grief over forgetting my id.

O’NEILL
Uh-huh.

INNER O’NEILL
Oh, I think I know something else you forgot. Starts with the letter B. Give your twins support… Ring any bells?

THE FUNK
…And I need to leave early today too. God, this is so not my day.

O’NEILL

(distracted)
Uh-huh.

Unable to fight the urge any longer, O’Neill’s eyes wander back to the tank top.

INNER O’NEILL
They are way bigger than B’s… Maybe C’s? Big C’s. Or…

DING! The elevator door opens.

THE FUNK
Catch ya later!

O’NEILL Have a nice… D’s?