Let me set the scene for you…
INT. CLUBHOUSE – NIGHT
O’NEILL and BK throw darts while pounding back beers. Just another low key night.
O’NEILL
Then what’d you say?
BK
Nothing.
O’NEILL
Nothing?
BK
(annoyed)
Nothing.
O’NEILL
You know what I’m gonna say…
BK
Don’t.
O’NEILL
Fair enough.
A beat.
O’Neill goes to retrieve the darts from the board.
BK
Speaking of exes…
O’NEILL
What?
O’Neill whips around and her face instantly contorts into pure abject horror.
Enter the DBAG. A tall leggy brunette whose mane of curls bounces with each and every step she takes.
INNER O’NEILL
Ah. The missing piece to the perfect night. Beer, darts, and the girl who sent my heart through a paper shredder.
DBAG
O’Neill!
O’Neill attempts to force a smile.
O’NEILL
(quietly)
Hey.
BK chugs the rest of her beer and puts her arm around O’Neill’s shoulder.
BK
Getting another. You gonna be ok?
INNER O’NEILL
No!
O’NEILL
Uh-huh.
BK heads towards the bar leaving O’Neill alone with DBag.
DBAG
Where’ve you been?
INNER O’NEILL
Avoiding you like the plague.
O’NEILL
Around.
DBAG
Really? That’s strange. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. I was just saying that to Lex. You know who’s been MIA lately… O’Neill.
(pause)
You’ve met Lex right?
INNER O’NEILL
Guess Who the Dbag edition… Lex the roomie… co-worker… $20 hooker who hangs on your stoop?
DBAG
My girlfriend?
O’NEILL
Nope.
DBAG
Really? She’s meeting me here in a few.
INNER O’NEILL
Fabulous. Because it’s not enough for you to torture me. Let’s add your sex toy in the mix.
DBAG
You’re gonna love her. She’s smart, funny—
LEX (O.S.)
DBag?
A slightly cross-eyed, Oompa Loompa-ish girl emerges from the crowd. This is the one and only LEX.
INNER O’NEILL
Hit every branch on the ugly tree?
DBAG
Hey sweetie. This is O’Neill.
LEX
(uninterested)
Hi
(to DBag)
I texted you. Twice.
DBAG
Sorry. I was on the subway.
LEX
Well we’re not staying here. I want to go to Fat Cats.
DBAG
Ok. Let’s just grab a beer here and then—
LEX
Did you even hear what I said?
DBAG
Fine. We’ll go to Fat Cats.
(to O’Neill)
Sorry.
O’NEILL
No worries.
O’Neill watches as Lex storms off through the crowd with DBag following behind. A satisfied smile crosses her lips.
INNER O’NEILL
Oh thank you Karma.
Yes, sometimes it may feel like you're Fate's bitch by the way she treats you, but enter Karma (in shining armor) and all things just fall into the right place.
ReplyDeleteGotta love when that happens, especially when exes are involved.