Excuse Me...

INT. SUBWAY – DAY

Semi-packed car filled with the standard New Yorkers and “I Heart NYC” tourists alike.

O’Neill sits in the dead center of a bench somewhat lost in the depths of her iPod.

A beat.

Doors open and instantly there’s a steady stream of human cattle.

Enter THE SMOTHERER. Preppy, decked out in khaki, and wearing the standard country club issued matching pearl earrings and necklace combo. She’s Miss J Crew.

The Smotherer parks herself right next to O’Neill.

O’Neill starts to shift but is suddenly sandwiched by—

NEVER CALLS. Beefy and sulking beneath an old Yankees cap, he’s got the look of a guy on his very last nerve.

THE SMOTHERER

For the record, I’m not talking to you.

O’NEILL
(confused)

Excuse me?

NEVER CALLS

Fine.

INNER O’NEILL

Oh you’ve got to be kidding me…

O’Neill desperately searches the car for another available seat. Nothing. She’s stuck.

INNER O’NEILL

Only two more stops. Not too bad.

THE SMOTHER

You could’ve at least called. That’s all I’m saying.

NEVER CALLS

(sarcastically)

Thought you weren't talking to me?

INNER O’NEILL

Apparently she is cause she isn’t talking to me.

THE SMOTHER

Ugh! This is what I’ve been talking about! So childish. Can’t we talk like two grown adults for once?

NEVER CALLS

(mocking)

You’re childish.

Infuriated, The Smother presses in closer, squeezing O’Neill in the process.

INNER O’NEILL

Good-bye personal space.

O’NEILL

Excuse…

THE SMOTHER

And another thing. I know that was her number on your phone. Don’t lie. It was so her.

NEVER CALLS

Jesus!

INNER O’NEILL

I second that!

THE SMOTHER

If you just want to break up with me then go ahead and do it. I’m so sick of your shit.

NEVER CALLS

(Under his breath)

Drama queen.

This is the final straw. The Smother stretches herself completely over O’Neill using her thigh as an arm rest.

THE SMOTHER

We are done! You hear me? Done. Over. Through! I don’t want to see you, hear you, or even look at you ever again! I’m—

Subway stops.

O’NEILL

EXCUSE ME!

O’Neill forcibly sends The Smotherer back to her side as she pries herself off of the seat.

THE SMOTHER

God! You don’t have to be so rude.

O’Neill catches Never Calls eyes.

O’NEILL

(to Never Calls)

Friendly piece of advice, buddy…Run.