Let me set the scene for you…
INT. SWANKY BAR – NIGHT
A dimly lit upscale bat cave of a bar semi-populated with ex Wall St causalities.
O’Neill hangs out at the bar, building a mini fort out of cocktail napkins, olives, cherries, and toothpicks. Boredom is an understatement.
My boyfriend used to do that.
O’Neill snaps out of her olive and cherries veranda daydream and notices…
WATERWORKS. Tiny, bird-like waif of a girl. Undoubtedly, her purse weighs ten pounds more than she does.
Well, olives and toothpicks do make a great impromptu Lego set.
Oh. This is going to be painful.
You waiting for your boyfriend?
Nice try but wrong gender.
Ah. I hate having to wait. Trevor. That’s my boyfriend—or was my boyfriend—used to make me wait all of the time.
Not taking the bait.
Trevor. My ex … or semi-ex… or whatever… just couldn’t be on time to save his life. Five. Ten. Twenty minutes late.
Nope. Not going to ask. Nope… Nope… Nope…
…And it was never his fault either. Oh no. It was always “Sorry baby. Traffic sucked”.
I just want to build my fortress of “Olivetude” in peace and quiet. Is that too much to ask?
O’Neill starts to say something but suddenly stops. She catches sight of the glimmer of tears in Waterworks eyes.
(on the verge of tears)
He was even late for our anniversary. Two hours. Two freaking hours I sat alone at Nobu. Like a total loser.
The waiter even asked me if I had been stood up. Do you believe that??
Waterworks chokes up. She can’t fight the oncoming flood of tears.
Waterworks snatches the cocktail napkin roof from O’Neill’s fort and blots her eyes.
The fort crumples into a mess of olives and cherries.
Sorry. I don’t normally get like this.
O’Neill lets out a sigh and offers Waterworks another napkin.
That’s ok. Break ups are never easy.
(sobbing into napkin)
Uh-huh… I… just… miss… him…
Waterworks dives straight into O’Neill’s shoulder, forcing O’Neill to comfort her. Awkward doesn’t even begin to describe it.
Awkward. Party of one.
When did he leave?
Waterworks immediately pulls back in shock.
He? Leave me? Ha!
O’Neill stares at Waterworks in utter confusion as she quickly puts herself back together. Not a single sign of a tear anywhere.
I break up with men. Men do not break up with me. Period.
With that Waterworks disappears back into the bar crowd.